Struggling with People Pleasing?

Understanding Fawning and Empowering Change Together

In my practice, I often notice that clients come in with concerns about people pleasing. This can show up in many ways, like always saying yes, struggling to set boundaries, or feeling anxious about upsetting others.

You might have heard it called fawning, approval seeking, over-accommodation, or codependent behaviour. No matter what words we use, the impact is real and can be exhausting.

Reframing People Pleasing as Fawning

I approach people pleasing as a survival response, not a personal flaw. Fawning means trying to stay safe by pleasing others, especially if directness or saying no feels risky in your life.

For many neurodivergent folks, this response starts in environments that reward compliance or punish difference.

People Pleasing Has Many Names…

You might see yourself in some of these words:

• Trying to Keep the Peace: People pleasing, fawning, conflict avoidance, over-accommodation

• Putting Yourself Last: Self-sacrificing, caretaking, self-abandonment

• Seeking Approval: Approval seeking, fear of rejection, perfectionism

• Boundary Challenges: Boundary issues, assertiveness challenges, codependency

All of these are common, and you’re not alone if you notice them.

What Our Work Can Look Like - At Your Pace

Every client is different, so our sessions are designed to fit you.

Some ways we might work together include:

• Having open, gentle conversations about your experiences and feelings

• Exploring where fawning shows up in your life

• Building self-compassion and naming your needs

• Trying out new skills, but only if and when you feel ready, absolutely no pressure

• Celebrating every bit of progress, big or small

You’re always in charge of what we do together. Whether you’d like to talk, imagine, or simply notice patterns, you set the pace. My role is to offer support, encouragement, and tools. Your comfort and autonomy come first.

Reclaiming Your Power

You can learn new ways to respond and care for yourself. Here are some steps:

• Notice fawning: Pay attention to when you feel the urge to please

• Practice saying no: Start small, with safe people or situations

• Share your feelings: With people you trust, try to express what you really feel or need

• Be kind to yourself: Fawning was a survival tool, not a failure

• Seek support: Therapy, peer support, or neurodiversity-affirming spaces can help

  
  

Healing from people pleasing takes time, patience, and support. You deserve to be seen, heard, and valued, not just for what you do for others, but for who you are.

In our sessions, we’ll work together so you can reclaim your voice, set healthy boundaries, and live more authentically. Your needs matter.