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Feeling Exhausted from Trying? Discover Alok's "Power of Trying" Insight
Lately, I’ve been sitting again with something heavy: how exhausting it can feel to try over and over, and still end up back at what looks like square one.
When I came across a short video by Alok Vaid-Menon, The Power of Trying, something in me shifted.
In this video, Alok offers a simple, kind yet powerful reframing: If you tried, you have already succeeded, because the effort itself is a victory over despair.
The core message lands like this:
The goal is to look back on your life and say, “I tried.”
Effort is described as “Love’s ambassador”; a way of staying connected to what matters, even when it’s hard.
Trying is not just a step toward success. It is an act of resistance against despair.l
Hearing this, I realised how much I had been measuring my trying against outcomes I couldn’t fully control. I had been giving myself very little credit for just showing up.
If you can, watch it. Let yourself feel the permission it offers: your effort is not wasted, even when results are not yet visible, and progress feels non‑linear.
The exhaustion of trying (and why it makes sense)
There is a particular kind of tired that doesn’t come from doing too much. It comes from trying, again and again, while feeling like you’ve still ended up back at square one.
For many of us, this shows up as:
Pouring energy into something, only to watch it stall, dissolve, or demand we start over;
Holding multiple identities, responsibilities, or hopes at once, each asking for a different kind of effort;
Navigating systems that ask us to try more with less support, while judging us more harshly for the same outcomes.
In that context, “just try harder” is not just unhelpful. It can be deeply shaming.
Alok’s piece doesn’t deny the exhaustion. It refuses to let it erase the value of your effort.
Listening to what our own experience tells us
So much of life prioritises expertise over experience.
But there’s a particular kind of relief that comes when someone doesn’t try to fix, diagnose, or reframe your story. They just listen.
When I watch Alok’s piece, what I hear is not a lecture. It’s a witness.
That kind of listening, of ourselves and each other, can be its own form of resistance against despair.
This is especially true for those of us whose experiences have been dismissed, minimised, or told they’re “too much” or “not enough.”
Being listened to, really listened to, can be deeply healing.
Alok’s 2026 World Comedy Tour: an invitation to gather
If this message resonates, especially if you’re navigating transitions, identity, or the fatigue of constant trying, it could be a powerful evening to experience.
Live events can act as anchors. Moments where we remember we’re not the only ones tired of pretending that trying doesn’t count.
A gentle invitation (not a task list)
If you’re feeling the exhaustion of trying, here’s something you might try, if it feels right:
Name one thing you’ve tried recently that didn’t “work” the way you hoped.
Write down one way that effort still mattered.
For example:
“I protected something important.”
“I honoured a need.”
“I refused to give up on this part of myself.”
Let that be enough for today.
You don’t have to earn the right to count your effort.
The fact that you tried already makes it count.
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